Myths About Marriage and Family

We, humans, are "social creatures." The need for relationships is an innate need even from birth. Children bond with their parents, as they grow they bond with other family and find friends. Relationships and intimacy lead to a higher well-being in people. We form bonds, friendships and relationships to fulfill our social need and to increase our well-being. "Studies show that the highest level of well-being occurs in those who are married" (Dush and Amato 2005; Soons and Liefbroer 2008).

In class this week, we have been taking about marriage and family life. What are myths about family life? How do the myths impact our marriages and family life?  So, why are myths so harmful? When we accept a myth as the truth we can be detracting from our quality of our lives. Myths can blind a person to realities and give false expectations in our marriages, families, and life. In short, myths can ruin a good marriage and family.

There are many challenges that challenge marriages and families and myths don't have to be one of those. When a couple and their family strengthens their relationships nothing can tear them down or break them apart.

Now the myths...

• Opposites attract

            Someone who is opposite you may seem exciting, they are something new, and all around attractive to you. Yet, will someone who is your complete opposite provide both a satisfying or lasting relationship? Maybe, but the more alike your are to someone, the more likely you are to be attracted to that individual and the higher your chances are of having a lasting and satisfying relationship with that person. Differences that seemed "cute" at first could become irritations, frustrations, and sources of conflict in day-to-day living later in a marriage. They could potentially destroy a marriage or family because you can't or won't accept them anymore.

•  People marry because they love each other

            The basis of this myth is that love is that is not the only reason or even the dominant reason why people marry each other. Think about when you got married. Yes you did love each other but there were many other reasons why you married your spouse.

• Having children increases marital satisfaction

            Having children is very important and can bring satisfaction into a marriage. Yet, children also bring about a lot of added stresses. Children are expensive, they require a lot of time and energy from the parents that they may not be able to give, and they cause a lack of sleep. They can put an emotional strain on the parents relationship that they don't have time to cultivate. But when parents come together to raise and care for their children, the marriage and family can be brought closer together and strengthened.

• A good sex life is the best predictor of marital satisfaction  

           Being sexually compatible and getting sexual fulfillment are important but that won't keep a marriage together by itself. Your marriage must be founded on deeper connections.

•   Happily married people don't have conflict            

            Wouldn't this be wonderful if there was no conflict? I use to think so too but a conflict doesn't always have to be a negative thing. Any close relationship or friendship has times of arguments, disagreements, strains, and conflict. So why should we expect a marriage to be any different? What matters is how the two of you decide to resolve the conflict. Working together to effectively solve the conflict can bring you together as a couple.

• Last for this small set of myths: Half of all marriages end in divorce      

            In general divorce rates are difficult to calculate. Even though the numbers are higher though doesn't mean that you have to let divorce affect your marriage. Many divorces happen over things that could have been fixed with some time and effort from both people in the marriage. With that said, sometimes divorce may be necessary for some but most of the time and effort can go a long way in a marriage. 

As couples work to strengthen their marriages and families nothing can tear them down or break them apart not even a misunderstood myth.

As you can see I didn't cover every myth we have learned in great detail but if you want to learn more about the myths of marriage and family later feel free to search around. It can be fun to research on your own and learn about your favorite myths and why they can be harmful when accepted as truth.